You still with that Peter guy?

Happy awkward moment Monday!

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a message from an old boyfriend. For those of you who have been following me from the beginning, he’s the one I used to refer to as “Boyfriend” for approximately my first 6 months of blogging. I was dating Boyfriend when I met Peter, actually.

Anyway, Boyfriend and I ended up chatting for a few hours, mostly small talk and catching up on how each other’s family is doing. This isn’t unusual for us. We were able to stay on good terms for the most part, and while we don’t keep up regular communication, he does initiate conversation with me approximately every 18 months or so.

It was all going fine until he asked me, “So you still with that Peter guy?”

Boyfriend lost the privilege of knowing much about my life when he consistently failed to keep his promises to me seven years ago. Even if Peter had run off with another woman or was in jail or something, I would find something positive to say about him to Boyfriend. So even though Peter and I are going through some really tough times right now, as far as Boyfriend knows, my life is all sunshine and unicorn farts.

The conversation then shifted and he asked me about people from high school and if I knew when our class reunion would be. I told him about our valedictorian who just moved to New York to write for GQ and our former classmate whose dad died of lung cancer last year. Most of my friends didn’t like Boyfriend much in high school and evidently they still don’t because he hasn’t heard from anyone in almost a decade.

That was pretty much the end of our conversation. I refrained from asking him if he was drunk, which I’m really proud of myself for. I always assume that he’s contacting me because he’s drunk, because why else would you want to talk to me? The other explanation is that he still has feelings for me. We had a pact in high school that if we were both single at our high school reunion, we’d get married. Dodged that bullet.

Moral of the story, if you care about someone, tell them before it’s too late. Boyfriend was lamenting the fact that we never talk anymore. We have completely separate lives now and honestly, the only time I’ve thought of him since our last contact was when my car started having the same issue that his car in high school had. Maybe I’m cold hearted, but I haven’t really had any desire to contact him. I have no hard feelings against him connected to our ended relationship, I just feel no need to have much of a friendship with him. I wish him happiness, but I don’t really care about his daily life. His continued, albeit somewhat sporadic, messages tell me he feels otherwise. So again, if you care about someone, tell them. But don’t just leave it at that. Talk to them. Do things for them. The people I still talk to from high school and college are the ones who actually make an effort to maintain a friendship. If you can’t be bothered, you can find out if I’m “still with that Peter guy” from my blog like everyone else.

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